BXBX NOVEL Chapter 90: Open Your Heart.
"I said I'd defeat her, but this is the first time I have no idea how to do so, the fastest way to grow is to kill, but the monsters on Arkadia are all far too weak; the only contest I have here are the gods, and I can't just start killing the gods without reason." He narrowed his eyes.
"This is harder than my goal of fighting Dr'ul was, as long as the gods challenged me I could grow, but if I face that bitch once and am not strong enough it'll just be a repeat of last night, I'll be overwhelmed in an instant and die." He tapped his foot in frustration; there had to be something-
"Sol." Dina took a seat next to him, catching him off guard because of how focused he was. "Have you thought about how you're gonna do it?" She asked, and he paused and slightly turned to her, he was going to answer with some kind of obvious insult, but he sighed instead and shook his head.
"Nothing, every time I think I could discover a way, it ends up falling to a dead end..." He answered, watching her avert her eyes and stare ahead with her thumbs fiddling and her person shrunken as she shied away from his gaze with a slight blush. "Dina."
"Yes?" She looked up at him again.
"If I die to Sitri-"
"You won't, don't think like that!" She snapped as soon as the thought crossed her mind. "You'll win... right? you have to." She shook her head after holding on to his arm with a pleading gaze.
He didn't react, he just stared at her. "Sorry," She shrunk again and hugged herself. "But you can't."
"I'm saying, if I do." Sol closed his eyes and turned to her fully gesturing with his hands wide open. "Ikaris has to live, but she's so dependent on my presence that I don't know what she'll do if I died, I don't want her to harm herself or our child-"
"Then stop thinking about dying." Dina turned to him fully. "You died twice in actuality already, once back on earth and then yesterday, I checked, you were cold, no pulse no mana, no sign of life whatsoever; if you're so concerned about the lives you'd leave behind ...then... find a way to live."
"Because; Because." Dina's voice broke and all the resolve she had held on to until that point crumbled away revealing the same sad girl from the night before who couldn't even speak properly.
"I don't want to lose you again, I don't want to live in a world where there is no Sol Vestic, it's hard enough to not be able to take your hand and save you and Ikaris somehow; to keep this little piece of my dream from dying with time, but if you give up and die... what happens to the rest of us~?"
"..."
"Could you stop crying?" Sol asked, but his words only made her cry more.
He wasn't very good with tears, aside from Ikaris's, he found the tears of anyone else annoying, at least he used to, but it bothered him now, when he woke up not only Ikaris, but even Bruce had cried for him, Idria, Eris, Dina, Arla, Sara, Usami, Kris and Lyra, and even some of the soldiers despite the fact that he didn't even know their names and barely remembered their faces.
People had grown attached to him again, and he hated it, he hated being looked up to as some kind of symbol, he hated having his emotions tied to others because it was hard to look them in the eye knowing there was a real chance of them dying at any given moment and leaving him behind as well; it was an awful feeling not being able to reciprocate the love one directed at you because your own fears were fighting against you.
"Dina stop..." Sol scratched his head when she started sobbing louder drawing attention to them as her head slowly buckled under the weight of her emotions. "Dina-"
"Nghh~!" She bit her lips and sniffled trying to stop but ended up getting louder again, repeatedly wiping her eyes and shaking her head in hopelessness.
Ikaris was watching of course, she had waited patiently to see this unfold, it was no plan of hers but she knew the moment she accepted Dina as a friend that it was inevitable: the moment where Sol had to face the fact that she was not the only important person in his life anymore, because just as he had wished for her to interact with and become friends with other people, to grow as an individual, one of her deepest desires was that someone could help her heal him.
He had always thought that Ikaris needed friends to be less dependent on him, but the feeling was a mutual one she shared after seeing him interact without feeling and emotion, to that extent she respected Sara who had managed to get through already.
She knew his past, she was aware of his entire life now, she could see and sense his walls when it came to others, his trauma from losing everything he cherished on Atla had created a thick wall where she was not allowed to enter as his goddess or as his woman, it needed to be broken down overtime, and she felt like Dina, someone from his earthly past was perfect for this role, because she understood how much the girl loved him.
She wasn't fond of it, but she was sure after Dina's request that she could help, he needed to address the feelings of the ones around him, he was too cold for someone so warm.
"Could you please stop?" Sol slowly reached out his hand and rested it on her head with an awkward smile, trying pitifully to cheer her up again.
"It's Okay," Sol rested his hands on her shoulders sighing repeatedly and slightly shaking her while he got looks of pity from everyone else. "Dina-"
Without hearing what else he had to say, she sunk beneath his arms and hugged him.
It was a chaste hug as she held on to his arms and rested her head against his chest, and after she did so, Ikaris arrived and sat next to them on her side, sighing and placing her hand on Dina's back as she smiled sadly at him.
"Did you-"
"Plan this? Not this part." Ikaris shook her head. "In fact I have a lot of very mixed emotions about it," She continued rubbing the the crying girl's back while she spoke. "But, darling, you cannot ask me to become a better me while you remain the same lukewarm warrior from Atla, if there is a bleeding heart before you, at least try to wrap a tourniquet around it every once in a while."
Ikaris raised a brow at him, picking up his hand and helping him hug Dina properly as she sunk into his chest and continued crying.
"I don't want-"
"Look at her, Sol." Ikaris leaned over Dina and hugged her as well. "She needs you, more than she needed a friend in me she needed to be seen by you, I sympathise with that, I understand it all too well, for those years while you fought I gave you blessing after blessing, but what I truly wished to do was hold you just like this and say "I am here too, look at me too."
Ikaris's eyes watered when Dina released Sol and turned to her holding her tightly in a hug and crying against her. "She has wanted to be seen by you for years, to be acknowledged even once... I fell in love with the potential before I understood the person, she fell in love with the person before she ever knew their potential."
"Ikaris..."
"I would never claim that she loves you as much as or even more than I do, to be honest, I truly believe that it is impossible for any creature to love you like I do..." Ikaris held on to Dina who had finally managed to stop crying after letting out her years of frustration in an intense moment that felt like it was healing wounds she had never known existed.
"However, the fact still remains that she adores you on a level I have no choice but to respect as the one who potentially stole you away from her, she has debated many times to break us apart, and she used to pick fights with me every day, but in the end she backed down out of respect each time, she respected what we had even when she was so torn up by it that her heart broke repeatedly, in a weird twist, she has only been thinking about your happiness, Dear, open your heart a little."
"It's embarrassing when you say it like that..." Dina commented with her face squished against Ikaris's breasts.
"Be silent." Ikaris gave her a hard bonk on her head with a warm smile directed at Sol revealing the "mixed" part of her emotion as that was clearly revenge for hugging her man.
"Ow~"