BXBX NOVEL Chapter 485: Answer the Question
Chapter 485: Answer the Question
"Nira" said Kat seeing that the older demon was intent on avoiding the question. "I'm sure that's interesting, and I'm not criticising you. I'm asking, WHY." *I'm glad I was able to say I wasn't criticising. That's true, I can't critique. I am judging you though.*
"Well, I did what I could Kat, I really pushed the envelope with Aslena's punishments when I could. She always thought I was being too harsh when I caught her, but they were never for that, but for that, plus all the things she thought she was never caught for. I made sure they were short punishments, but ultimately humiliating or otherwise memorable. I didn't want to build to much resentment with me, or have it misplaced on Kamiko." Explained Nira
*That still doesn't answer the question though Nira. You explained to me what you DID do. I'm asking WHY! Should I keep pressing though? She clearly doesn't want to know… but… I think I'm willing to push. She won't kill me I don't think. She couldn't do anything too bad lest Kamiko find out tomorrow when I get called to punishment.*
Kat steeled her eyes, and asked, "Nira, while I'm happy to know that you think Aslena was suitably punished. Why did you let it go on so long?"
Nira's eyes narrowed at this, before responding with. "You almost make it sound like I did nothing"
Kat's eyes started to glow slightly seeing this. She was easily keeping her anger down, but it was rising. "I didn't say that at all Nira. As I've never had a mother, I can't imagine all the things you have done and continue to do for your family. I wouldn't be surprised if you've spent more hours making sure that the triplets are alright then I have making up my entire life.
"I do not say this to doubt your commitment Nira. While your husband is a fool when it comes to his family you are not. You've admitted to me a big secret, and I just want to know why you let things continue like this. Not why you didn't try to fix things, but why you didn't try to force the issue, or try harder with the soft sell. I'm not saying your other options where even better.
"I'm asking, why you didn't take them. Perhaps, it's because at the orphanage, it was my job to deal with these issues. To make sure that none of the kids were picking on the others, to make sure that nothing festered. Many a time I had to lock two kids in a room and just tell them to talk it out. Thing is though, I'm not their mother. I never was, and I didn't do it for long term health, I did it so that everyone at the orphanage had UNDERSTANDING and acceptance.
"I could not let things spiral, because it is hard to get a child with a history of causing issues adopted. I worked to make sure they could be adopted. That was my goal over any other." *Except Sylvie.* A traitorous part of her mind raised, for it may have been true that she was harsher on the punishments involving the little girl. *Luckily, I was no longer in charge at the end there. I could play those favourites.*
Nira bit her lip and glared at Kat, but there wasn't any real heat in it. The dismissal of Kat's motherly role seemed to strike another cord in her. She realised that while Kat might not care for her own parents, she knew the importance of them… all while downplaying the likely importance of her own role at the orphanage. Nira sucked in a deep breath of air she didn't really need, mostly just to keep herself from speaking for a few seconds longer.
"Maybe I wish I knew as well Kat…" said Nira, with a sad note to her voice. "I… I'm not trying to avoid things this time. I think I actually don't know. Perhaps… hmm… perhaps it was to stop a second Meridthna happening. Was I afraid of that if I pushed either of them too hard? Or perhaps another fracturing?
"See, I have no doubt that if things came to a head, my daughters would all pick sides, Kamiko's to be precise. Not to say the others don't love Aslena but… Kamiko knows them all much better. She spent so much of her time with them. She's such a loveable figure and such a large part of their lives since she's been born…
"Aslena… well… I'm sure you know what she's like… but… the main sin she committed was just… not spending as much time with them all. She was standoffish to the others, thinking they wouldn't help her at first, and then later when she was distant from us ALL around the time she was Rank 1…
"Maybe I didn't want to force the issue Kat" Nira had slight tears in her eyes now, and her smile was wavering, "maybe I feared the consequences… I had one child leave me already, and I'm not sure how I'd handle another.
"I kept myself together the first time for Elmony and the triplets. They wouldn't have been able to handle seeing me freak out on top having a sister leave their lives forever. I think that's the last truly big fight this family had. Oh sure, some words have been thrown around, but that is NOTHING compared to that fight.
"Did you ever fail Kat?" Nira's eyes locked on Kat's own, and held them in place, "Did you ever fail a child in your care?"
Kat swallowed, "Yes" the answer came before she processed it. Her eyes widened as she realised what she'd admitted, but, in for a penny in for a pound. "A pair of boys. One named Lucas, another named Joel. I could not help them. I… I did not know the depth of the issues when I tried to get them to talk it out."
Kat wanted to look away from Nira's gaze, but knew she couldn't. It was not an acceptable outcome. Something important would be lost. "See, they both came in separately and I didn't know they had a history. Lucas had been a bully of Joel's back at their old school, and he used to make fun of Joel for not having a father.
"I didn't know. Talking about parents was obviously… something done carefully. So, while Joel had been at the orphanage for a while, and had recovered somewhat… Lucas came into the picture and he… I guess he saw his chance for revenge.
"He asked him how it felt now. How Lucas felt having neither. Joel… he… he used to say 'you might be missing both just like me, but you've only been without them a week' or a month or two, whatever it was at that time. He hammered in the guilt Lucas already felt and… well, one day Lucas blew up at him.
"So… I put them in a room, and said they wouldn't leave till they talked it out. Well… it was two bloody and bruised boys that left that room Nira. Not a word was spoken between the two, and I don't think there ever was again"
Nira almost wanted to grin. To point out to Kat this had been her exact fear… but hearing it from someone so much younger then herself, one who still denied that she'd filled a mothering role… all she could say was "Oh"
Seconds past, and they turned into minutes. Nira was actually the one to break eye contact first, but Kat didn't really notice. The silence was pervasive, and neither knew what to say. Kat believed she didn't have the right to criticise, having failed as Nira feared she would. Nira didn't know what to say because she felt Kat could never understand the complications with forcing the two to confront their issues… only to see Kat actually did.
Ten minutes past in silence, and neither was really happy about that. The silence was hard to break though. Eventually though, Nira decided, that she should speak. Kat was still a child in her eyes, albeit a mature one, and she should say, "I'm sorry"
"What?" mumbled Kat before her head wrapped around how rude her response was.
"I'm sorry Kat. I thought" Nira bit her lip but continued on in saying "Well, I guess I thought you were trying to scold me because you felt you should as Kamiko's friend. Not… not as someone who knows the issue with allowing grudging to fester. Not as someone who knows the risk of forcing a confrontation… and I'm sorry for that"