Chapter 227: Please Tell Me I’m Wrong
They wanted to wake Hawi but the woman was sleeping and none of them had the courage to go to Rukiya's chambers to wake up her sleeping mate. It was all happening so fast, but when they saw their Alpha back home, the wolves relaxed.
"I think you should go for a run more often, Alpha. You have a pretty little streak of white on your hair. It's really beautiful," Sherry said when Rukiya went to the kitchen to look for food for Hawi.
She may have been hungry herself, but her mate had not eaten. She didn't care if Hawi was still sleeping, she would wake her up and make sure that the wolf girl had her meal of the day.
"Come on Sherry. Let the girl catch her breath. She has been to war and just came from her run. I doubt she wants to talk about her hair slowly running white or that it might be because of her crazies.
"Who knows… Maybe the little streak showed up because of all the stress," Hudhayfah said and Sherry stared at him accusingly.
Rukiya was already used to Hudhayfah and Sherry bickering whenever Adolf was away so this wasn't even surprising to her.
Hudhayfah looked at her worriedly, wondering if there was anything the girl needed, but from the looks of everything, Rukiya was still trying to sort shit out on her own.
Her life was rapidly changing and she would soon find her central point; however, at this point, it was more than obvious that her entire life revolved around Hawi. Perhaps it wasn't so bad, right?
"It's not my fault she does a lot at once!" Sherry said.
Rukiya had the pleasure of watching her favorite people bicker in the kitchen as usual. This reminded her of the times when they would flood the kitchen because everyone wanted Sherry's food and they couldn't handle the demands from the Greyson wolves.
Those were the days when Rukiya felt normal, when life was peaceful.
Sherry and Hudhayfah had played a key role in helping her get up when her father died. Her mother's absence had been felt, but with these two people, it was almost like she had a complete and functional family.
"Alright. You guys can continue bickering, but please don't bring the pack house down, it would be hard to explain to our hungry warriors that they wouldn't eat because of you two. Take care!" Rukiya said as she carried the bowl of food towards her chamber.
She hadn't checked what was there, but from the smell of it, it was delicious. She did not doubt that Hawi would love this. However, when she got to her chambers, she found the wild girl gone. The bed was empty and the curtains were drawn.
Given it was dusk already, there weren't that many places to look for Hawi, seeing as she knew her way around the entire realm. Years of war had introduced the Sicario girl to many territories and Rukiya wasn't sure she could feel this right now.
"Did she hate my mark that much?" Rukiya whimpered defeatedly, as she settled the food on the table and began to look around the room. Surely she couldn't have gone far, right?
There was no way that she would leave her here and go anywhere, unless it was about protecting Rukiya.
However, Rukiya was tired of being protected. She was sick of hearing the same statement over and over again. She was a powerful Alpha and she could handle herself. She didn't need a babysitter and she sure as hell wasn't going to accept one.
"Dammit," Rukiya punched the nearest wall angrily, leaving a dent in it, when she was done scouring the room and found no trace of Hawi. The wild girl's scent wasn't even potent here which could only mean that she had left a little earlier.
All of this just wasn't fair.
Rukiya felt like she was losing her mind. She had done everything that was expected of her, she had followed the rules, she had been a good Alpha for her people, she had kept her part of the bargain with the blood oath, she had done everything.
So why did she always have to be the one suffering like this?
Why was happiness so hard to reach when it came to her? Was this the fate she would have to deal with always?
"Fuck!" Rukiya cried out silently, as she didn't want to worry her wolves. There was already enough stress in the pack and she couldn't let them feel her rage and her fucked up emotions that were over the palace.
Maybe just this once, she would let her tears flow. It had been long since she felt this weak and alone, but today, everything was hitting her from all sides, and she had no one to hold her.
The woman she loved had disappeared.
The mother she trusted and loved was betraying her and wanted her dead.
Her best friend was out on a ten-day mission and her healer was trying to distance people from focusing on the mess that Greyson was in, not to mention the fact that she had led her army against Sicario, and won, but was still expecting a retaliation.
"Why do I always have to be the strong one?" Rukiya cried out in silence as she slid down the wall and hugged her knees, while she rested her head on her knees. She was sick of everything, really.
Each day there was always going to be something and it was all taking a toll on her. She was tempted to make a run for it, but she couldn't, because if she left, then her people would be vulnerable.
They would feel abandoned, and if they ever found out about what Razia had done to Alpha Draffin, it would break them.
Once again, the young Greyson was looking out for everyone. She was choosing everyone over herself, even though it was breaking her heart. Maybe, just maybe the universe would be kinder to her.
She deserved to be loved without conditions too, right? She deserved to be hugged and protected, without having to live in fear of losing everything she held dear. Then again, as usual, it is just her on her own.
She had hoped that maybe having Hawi close would keep her sane and keep her distracted from the pains that came with being the Greyson Alpha, but now she was alone, again.
"You there?" a voice called out from outside her door and Rukiya sighed defeatedly.
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Duty was probably calling again, and she had to be the good responsible alpha, and respond. Everything was wrong with her life and it was ruining her along with everything she had.
She was losing her focus and as she furiously wiped her tears with her shirt, she wished that she was just a normal wolf.
Maybe she would have this much pressure right?
Rukiya then got up, once she was sure her face was not as red. She then intentionally spilled some of the tea that was on the breakfast table on her shirt, to explain her stains. She then straightened up and went to open the door.
"Yeah, what's up?"